Wednesday 3rd October

I awoke at 06:10am.

Sarah was coming to see me for my Physio today at 2pm.

I just pottered about doing nothing.  :( I just cry

Steve Government was supposed to be getting here for our chat???

He’s not here yet??  Where is he??

I ended up crying in the office AGAIN :(

What a blubber I was.

I was sure that someone mentioned to me not to spend too much time with Janiece.

No one accepted that, so I just assume “What is going on with me?”

“I thought I am very alert!” Hmmmmmm

Steve Government turned up at 3pm?

He turned up and explained about his previous client?

His day was running too fast, but he had a lot to listen to.

Steve Government arranged his next meeting with me on Friday 5^th October. GREAT

This guy has been with me from the very start. I have so much confidence in him.

When Steve is there, I feel like, I’m home, when he is right beside me.

The last time we were saying goodbye it lasted 2hrs.

I definitely thought bye, bye. Sorry Steve, I still call on you. Sorry, you’re still stuck with me right now. One of these days I will just call you for a coffee, I promise. :)

“I have faith in you, you’re worth it!”

I asked Janiece if I could go home for the night. I was fed up with all the crying and my body felt so heavy. Two steps from my feet was the heaviest two steps.

I was physically and mentally dead to myself.

Janiece came over to take me home. I just wanted to lay on the sofa and do nothing.

I didn’t even talk,.

I didn’t do the e-mail,

I didn’t do any phone calls,

I lay back and rested, I done nothing.

I went back to bed.

My head and body was heavy again.

Goodnight