I put myself down for Creative Writing, Painting, Qigong and Thai Chi.
There's nothing too heavy to take on here, I sit, I listen, I pay attention, I flow with a painting brush.
Listening and paying attention is the hardest thing for me to do.
It was Monday 23rd September.
I done the gently movements in the morning and then late afternoon, I did some art drawings.
When the class finished at the end of my day, I felt exhilarated, I was lively and cheerful.
When I got home, I lay on the sofa to watch the telly; I stretched out and kicked those shoes off. Great!
When I went to bed that night, as soon as my head hit the pillow, I slept soundly, very quickly.
The next morning Tuesday 24th September.
I woke up at 08:09am, it took 9 minutes for my alarm to waken me up, my head was on a different land as it wasn't playing properly with me.
Why did it take so long to rouse me from my slumber?
Before I used to jump up as soon as the alarm went off, it went ring-a-ling-a-ling right next to my ear, I wasn't at the other side of the room, we were inches apart that's all.
I turned over in bed to stop the alarm clock and forced myself out of bed.
I managed to get my medication with the biggest thud, thud, thud, thud, thud.
I fell back into bed and watched the clock going tic, toc, tic, toc, tic, toc, tic, toc...........
It felt like I was watching a Grandfathers clock chiming continuously.
When the small hand hit 9 and the big hand hit 3 then I called the surgery, and asked for a Dr to make a home call. I explained that I had a big headache and I was worried about it as it was in the head.
Well I nearly pooped my pants I said; as this time I would be aware of everything, I said that I had lost my appetite too.
When we finished with my details, it got to 09:15 and my mobile rang again and as I answered it, the Dr spoke and asked me to make it to the surgery ASAP. He had seen my files and needed me to get there as fast as possible as waiting for a home call could take a very long time.
I told the Dr that I would get there as fast as I could.
"I will get there, but if I don't arrive there within the first hour from now, send someone out looking for me incase I'm flat on the ground" I then giggled. He said that I do have my own sense of humour.
When I got there, I was seen within the next few minutes.
I went through some tests then he made a call and typed out a letter for me.
I had pains behind my eyes and a heavyness at the bottom of the cranial part of the skull.
As we finished he asked me if I could be ready in about 45minutes as he would get the Ambulance now.
I said goodbye to him and said that I would pack some clean nickers and take my drugs, enclosed with a giggle. Then I went off to get all of my gear.
Jamie and Tom arrived for me, my chauffeur and valet.
My Chauffeur Jamie opened the door for me to enter the ambulance. I couldn't lift my leg that far up. I would have probably done them an injury with my exceeding weight if they tried to lift me up the step.
My Valet Tom put the runway down for me so I zoomed up my new pathway..........excellent.
Once we were revving up to go, Tom got out paperwork and asked me if I knew my medication............!
I opened up my rucksack and pulled out my medication and the typed medical names.
I handed it over, I don't really want to remember these names. I hate bloody tablets!
Tom quite casually asked me if I've had a drink ? "What time in the morning is it!" I asked.
I quizzically asked him; "Why have you just asked me if I had a drink?"
He was writing on his paperwork.
He then said "Are you an Alcoholic!"
"What!" I said, "Bloody hell, do you know what time it is and I have a bloody headache!"
"Of course I'm not an Alcoholic, Bloody hell?"
We carried on with our journey and I just thought that they must possibly just go through routine questions.
The Ambulance men took me through to A&E.
As we sat with the A&E receptionist, she had all the paperwork out and I gave her my Surgery letter.
She asked me for my medication and I handed it over to her.
She said:- "Have you had a drink?" as she avoided my eyes. "No!" I said.
Then she said:- "Are you an Alcoholic?"
I started feeling rather upset having to put up with this interrogation it was getting me angry and frustrated.
I looked at this receptionist and said:-
"I'll appologise now for what I will say; why do you Fuckin have to tell me the same question this early in the morning. Do I look like I'm a Fuckin Alkie!?! I've a Fuckin Headache!"
I then grumbled under my breath, they knew that I wasn't very happy.
I got pushed along the hallway to wait for a CT Scan.
I sat in the wheelchair and put my head on the wall and pressed on my eyebrows to try to relieve the headache but it only got worse.
I felt the heavyness on the top of my head where the scar is; it was so tender.
I had to close my eyes and tried to float away.
I pulled the cap down over my eyes to stop me from getting the light.
I wanted to dissapear but I couldn't do anything, I felt shitty.
After a long, long time, the queue was slowly getting smaller.
Then another Doctor came over to me and had paperwork with her in her hands.
The first question was.................."Have you had a drink?" "Are you an Alcoholic?"
"Jesus Christ" I said to her, "Why do you all ask the same questions. WHY?"
When she went away with the paperwork, I got out of the wheelchair and walked back to the A&E receptionist, it was just at the end of the hallway.
I asked this receptionist if she could tell me why she said this to me?
I held out my card to her and I asked her to point to what she saw that made her ask me these questions.
She pointed to the two medical words so I took the pen and put a cross beside each medicine word.
She said that people who are Alcoholic have these tablets; vitamin B compound and Thiamine HCI.
I eventually took my place for the scan.
When I came out I was put in the Clinical Decisions Unit, they put me on a soft chair and gave me my dinner.
Then two nurses arrived with a bed for me. It was getting very late and my whole body was so tired.
Then the evening Doctor drew my curtains and brought out his paperwork.
He asked me for my medication list and..........................!
Again..........."Have you had a drink?"
I was so angry by this time, I said:-
"Does no one pass on any information these days?
Look at the time now.
I've been in here for most of the day and your still asking me if I've had a drink?
Where the hell would I ever have found the time today and I wouldn't even drink when I'm on medication. Fuck-N-Hell, but I shall appologise for my foul mouth............ Look at this face do I look like an Alcoholic?"
I breathed in and out to try to calm myself down but I kept asking WHY!
Why did all 4 of them ask me the same stupid questions.
A bunch of plonkers I thought to myself.
I asked the Doctor about why did they all ask me the same questions.
He said that Alcoholics have the same medication of vitamins.
He told me that I must go and ask my doctor.
He said that the doctor will tell me who it was that gave me this medicine in the first place and ask him to tell you this question of WHY?
He said that they don't have my immediate files so they can't tell me just now.
He said that the doctor has to answer my questions.
Hopefully, I can get to the bottom of WHY?
I tiredly collapsed back into the bed and lightly slept, the headache was still there.
About 03:30am they moved my bed to another ward. A quieter ward; kindova?
The next morning I woke up still with a headache, just a teenyweeny pain in my head now.
I had my own medication and got ready to have my tablets at 8am.
The nurse arrived with everyone else's tablets.
The girl opposite me, was Abigail Megan Nuttal, she came out with so many medical words; she knew what was this; and that; and the next thing; and what it was for. I was totally Gobsmacked!
She still tried to catch my attention, with that biggest smile as she waved over to me.
When the medication round was over, she kept smiling and waving over at me.
I had taken my Neurocare Issue so that some of the nurses could see what I had come through.
It saved me from going through the story, so I just passed it on for them to read it instead.
I got out of bed and walked over to her bed.
I asked her if she wanted to read my story as I was the newbee, they were all speaking in first names with each other.
I sat in her chair and asked her what happened to her?
I didn't realise what I was going to recieve, she was telling me her tale. It was very unexpected.
I said to her that I bet that whatever is about; you've had it! I was right there.
She told me that she is now 18yrs old and she knew about all the medical names as that has been her life for the last 15yrs. I took the biggest GULP!
She still smiled which amazed me.
She said that her early life was in Great Ormond Street Hospital in London when she was 3yrs old.
I had to hold back all the tears for her as I couldn't let myself down or for herself.
I told her that I remembered watching Great Ormond Street Hospital on the telly, years ago.
I had heard her talking about college; so I asked her what she was going to be doing at college?
She told me that she was doing a medical class at college.............................WoW !
I asked her what her ambition she was going to take?
She told me that she wanted to work in the Childrens Ward.
I did cry at that!
She has been looked after from her childhood until now and she wants to give a piece back for the children.
This has been the most spectacular gift that she wants to hand back.
This young lady is a Great Inspiration for us all.
I listened to another lady and my bottom lip fell to the floor, I was stuck.
When she finished her story, she asked me if I was OK as I looked rather unsettled.
"Bloody Hell!" I said, "Your telling me, my own story!"
All my feelings were all over the place.
We were all in this intense ward, the Clinical Decision Unit with all our problems to boot.
I was totally shocked again.
I never knew that this was a give and take from others towards us.
I couldn't wait to get out of my own prison and run away again.
I didn't want to hear this story from another person, it's too close to home, well it IS home!
I had to wait for another Neurosurgeon to come round to see me. Things were getting sent forwards and backwards from Hallamshire Hospital in Sheffield. I assume Mr Patel was aware of this. Hey, he's my boss!
When the Neuro surgeon arrived, he told me that luckily I have no bleeding or blockage in the shunt.
He explained the headache to me!
He told me that I maybe lucky and only have a few headaches OR I could have daily headaches and the reason is the nerves. He told me that it depends where certain nerves are in the head as they can touch each other and that nerve maybe to do with the pain, basically my pain nerve.
A Bloody Pain In The Head ..................!
At last the Neuro surgeon told me that I can go home...........................YEEHAAAAaaaaaaaaaa!
I got myself dressed and the nurse asked me what dinner I would like before I went home.
This was a treat for me, I thought great, I don't need to think about making dinner when I get home.
I had a lovely dinner and didn't need to bother about cooking when I got home. I said that I enjoyed my freebie dinner today, it was OJ, potatoes & veg with chicken in a creamy sauce, then the great finalley which was a warm sponge with a caramel sauce with warm custard.
A Great Dessert.
Abigails mother arrived, Julie Nuttall.
We all had a chit chat and as the story went on the two of them giggled away with ease.
The thing that I have found out is that when your on the path that is the lowest of the low and the toughest place to be a smile and a giggle can carry you over where you have been.
|Abigail and Julie (mum)|
|Mother & Daughter|
|Abigail & Chanell|
When I was on my way home, I thought deeply at what we had been through.
I still think of the easiness at smiling and laughing with Abigail and Julie.
I thought of what I went through and believe me........I thought it was bad.............BUT !
What Abigail and her mother Julie have gone through over the years; has been about; at least, ten times over the biggest trauma you could ever imagine.
She is a miracle for life.
She is an INSPIRATIONAL young lady who smiles with that twinkle in her eyes.
GOOD LUCK ABIGAIL NUTTELL
ALL MY LOVE