I lived with Janiece and David in their 3 bedroom house. One room is the office, their own bedroom and a spare room for visitors.
I moved from the Ayrshire coast, I had a live-in position and worked at Turnberry Hotel and Golf Club.
Turnberry is the big Golf & Leisure area with the most beautiful old ornate hotel.
It was closing down in the winter as they were going to be doing work on the hotel over the winter months.
My friend Cristian Concari, asked me to move down and work in Sheffield, in the Mercure,where he works.
I rented Janiece & Davids spare bedroom, and in this room I shared it with my son, Robert Murray Love.
It was a very, very tight situation for us all.
Before I carry on with my new adventure, of my new life.
I have to release all of the STRESS that my family have been building up inside of me for a long time, well since the 20th of July 2012.
I shan't hide anything here, that's what my blob is all about for me, to get over where I've been, N'est pas! On the last blog, I told you what it was that brought me down and almost seen me dissappear; six foot under. 6ft ! Died! Deed! Finished! Shut Up! End of the Show! A Gonner! Flummoxed! Expired! I could go on here................
(1) The STRESS was........possibly ?
It could have been having to stay on at work, longer hours than expected?
Now; My manager has just dissappeared?
He's just dissappeared and no one knows where he is?
(2) The STRESS was...... possibly ?
It could have been sharing someone else's home? Janiece and David, sister and brother-in-law?
Having to share the bedroom with my son?
Having to put my purse under my pillow every night as money just dissappeared? Kids Eh!
Having to pay for his taxis, buy him fags, give him tram money? This is what a mother does......GIVE!
There has been so many POSSIBILITIES, a thing that is possible, the state of being possible.
It can and has been a combination of both of the two things in my mind, I just turned up at the wrong time for my life, had I been born a few years later, I may have missed all this trauma in my life.................OR NOT!
It makes you think................................................
As I thought about the STRESS that had dissappeared, it started all over again with my family.
Why do families not like it, when they suddenly lose the control of what they thought that they had before?
That is a puzzler, I have thought about this for many, many months now, but it's time to shed it from my mind.
WHY, WHY, WHY !!!
As I thought that I had been progressing last year with this blob/blog, I started to omit, exclude, certain sections from my diary and letters into the blog.
THE REASON --- TOTAL EMBARASSMENT --- MY FAMILY !!!
I have been totally embarrased with my family, and I'll let you know how this happened.
A letter to all my family.
Read it on the blob from last year :-
On the 20th of July 2012; I was having a years Review Meeting, no one realised what happened that day, I omitted this so I'll let you know now.
Most of my family and my son were turning up for my meeting at 3pm.
I wrote my letter, and got it photocopied then I gave everyone a copy of my letter as I was going to read it out. Which I did.