Saturday, November 14, 2015

Dougie: "Wish Upon A Star"

Today I was out looking for a shop named Papercraft in Chesterfield. 
I was looking for a piece of black paper which would be 50cmX50cm for the backdrop of a donated painting by Catherine Clinton. 
It's for the Specialist Stroke Services Winter Ball auction; which will be held in The Winding Wheel on Tuesday 17th November from 7pm till 11pm.
The auctioneer for that night will be Charles Hanson from the BBC's Bargain Hunt.

I thought I was walking in the right direction for this shop then I saw this black labradooodle sitting at the side of a pram. Some wonderful memories came back from when I was younger and remembered that the dogs; especially "Nibbs" the black labradoodle was always sitting like a sentry guard on duty. The dogs were looking after Robert out in the back garden. I've lived in the Portencross house at the end of West Kilbride Golf Links twice in my life, once as a family home and then moved back in with mum as we were moving back to Scotland from England, so it was a stop off until we found a place to move too. 
Great memories with Robert, Sarah-Jane, Michael, Sabre and Nibbs.

 I looked down at the dog as I was about to walk past them and gave the dog a pat on his head and mentioned that I used to have the same type of dog many years ago. I looked down at the young child and I seen the tracheostomy which was opening his windpipe and straight away I pulled the polo neck down and showed the parent my own scar on my throat and he asked me if I was born with this too?
A tracheostomy is an artifical opening into the windpipe (trachea) that is held open by a tracheostomy tube. This helps your child to breath more easily.
Air now goes in and out through the tracheostomy tube and bypasses the nose and mouth.
We started chatting about this subject and I found out the childs name was Dougie and he has been living with a tracheostomy since he was born so he knows nothing else. What a happy child he is as I talked away and I seen a smile appear as I gently rubbed the back of my finger onto his cheek. He uplifted my heart as I seen his reaction with a smile. I asked what was wrong with him and the reply was that no-one knows what's wrong with him.
There is so many people who moan and groan about their life and about this and that and "I can'nae!"
It seems to be  their main topic as they become oblivious of anything else as they natter away.
I appreciate what I can do now; even to have the feelings of all the aches and pains as I have good days and the bad days. I walk with a smile on my face and can't wait till I sit down again for a wee breather and rest the legs before I start again. (well it's really any excuse to stop for a cuppa!"

In the first picture you can see the eye movement over to me as I was talking and then in the second picture you can see the eye movement over to the passer-by who was talking as he took the pictures.
I'm going to Wish Upon A Star at night for Dougie as he uplifts my spirit with his happiness.

Life is for living and I can see that Dougie brings so much happiness to his family and the likes of myself as I was walking by. 
Touched by a special moment.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

To Dad, TIME, The Circle Of Life

Life is all about Time and how we all use it.
Life is like an everlasting Circle.
Our circle starts from a dot on a piece of paper; it stretches out and gets bigger (it's a bit like growing up in life!)
When your circle reaches the biggest point; it stays in that space and you learn to live your life the best way that you can.
When you've had the maximum amount of time when you were at your peak; it's then time for that circle to decrease.
When the circle decreases; we're actually going through the twilight years of our life. We notice the silver grey hairs (in the once time dark glossy locks hanging down the nape of the neck)
Lines appear around the eyes and lips, but don't despair as it gives you character and shows your life's experience.
You become a person who goes for a gentle stroll instead of that energetic person who ran around the park playing with the dog.
You walk around the edge of a Loch with forest walks instead of climbing up to the highest point of Arran or Skye.
Those days have gone for me now but I enjoy the stroll through a park or looking at the scenery of the hills from the waters edge as I'm eating a cucumber sandwich and a cuppa tea from the thermas flask.
You're just tweeking the time in the park, you stroll instead of run.
You look at the hills in awe instead of "Climb(ing) Every Mountain" by Julie Andrews.

This Circle is coming to an end for my dad ; George Quinn.
For me, this is "unconditional love " for my dad and I love him completely; from the bottom of my heart.

Last weekend ; Christine and Lance were with Alan in Merseyside to visit dad in hospital.
On the 6th of September, early Sunday morning, Christine had a message sent to her accommodation from the nurse at Arrowe Park Hospital at the Wirral University Teaching Hospital.
The message was that dad was saying "Pauline", Christine then called me and asked if I could travel through that day. I arranged myself and got ready to travel through to him. Lance drove from Merseyside to pick me up in Chesterfield, we arrived at the hospital around 5:30ish.

This is where time is So precious to us all.
Every moment I have with him is priceless.
I'm his roomie/roommate.
I have a cot at the side of his bed and as he no longer opens his eyes or speaks; I give him all the information that I can see and what I'm doing as I read all the crossword questions and answers.
I actually have some wonderful conversations and I don't need any reply, I'm filling our time every day.

This has been a very emotional time in my life as it has opened up my eyes to how much love I truly have for my dad, he will always be there in my heart and that shall never dissappear.
Being with him 24hrs a day has made me stronger as a person, I want to be with him as he takes his last walk in life and I'm so lucky to share his time with Alan and Christine.
This emotional time mixes across two situations, just like crossing some signals in my mind.
The bed that dad lays on moves in different positions and the mattress blows up to help the body's blood circulation and that's where I was 4 years ago and I'll never forget that I've just been through what he is going through now.
When I was told of my situation, I fantasised about how I would have looked and I seen it in my mind as a glamorous situation that you would have seen from one of those black and white movies as you put the back of your hand to your forehead and dramatically say...
"Oh, woe is me!"
I now see how I was, and what I actually looked like which saddens my heart but I'm uplifted when I realise that my family were there continuously for the lengthy months as I was silent and unable to walk.

Thanx for being you dad
The Circle Continues...........

ThanX for the picture Christine XXX

Wednesday, June 3, 2015


Last nights episode of EMMERDALE on ITV has taken acting up another notch, they have captured all the tiny details of what happens when someone is going through a Brain Trauma.

Very professional acting.... GOLD STAR

I felt Ashleys pain that he was going through in his head as he was undergoing a Brain Trauma, I knew what he was suffering.
I actually believed what he was going through and hoped he would come out at the other end.
When he was put into an induced coma; I thought:-
I hope his Coma doesn't last for many weeks that I've gone through!
I hope they don't open his skull to drain and air the skull area as mine was for many weeks.

There was an immense mixture of all kinds of emotions running riot around in my own head.
I had to call others from the North to the South and say "Did you see EMMERDALE!"
I felt that this Fantasy story was Real Life for me; why did I think that this fictional story was a piece of reality........Answer: Great Acting to Details.

I couldn't get to sleep as the mind was too active (although I was very tired!)
I thought about this Galaxy in my mind......
Did I actually go through the Galaxy before I came back to my mind?!?
Why did I want to paint a Galaxy for my Neurosurgeon Mr Umang Patel.
He's not an Astronomer, he's a Neuro Surgeon?
Do we all have little stars floating around in our mind which is our own Galaxy!
What a journey!

Welcome to my Galaxy......

Monday, January 12, 2015

Life Is A Journey


We arrive at the start of our journey, we never know where the path will take us to.
There's a fine line between the heart and the head;
The heart is dealing with all your emotions but the head is trying to lead you in the right direction.
Do you go with your heart or your head???
That's a mystery to me; it's like being caught between the river and the deep blue sea.

They do say: that you can "Wish upon a Star"
That's where your emotions are attached to the star with all your dreams.
The HEART...
The Sun is one of the stars, it brightens our life and gives us colour into our journey.

A solar system refers to a star and all the objects that travel in orbit around it. Our solar system consists of the sun - our star - eight planets and their natural satellites (such as our moon); dwarf planets; asteroids and comets. Our solar system is located in an outward spiral of the Milky Way galaxy.

Taken on train journey to Glasgow with Alan Quinn.

After the bump in my life whilst doing this journey, I've become more aware of all our surroundings.
It's not often that you have a second chance in life and to see all the wonderful sights that it holds.
They do say; that there's a "Pot of gold at the end of the Rainbow"
That pot of gold could be a gold pot full of wisdom.
The HEAD...
If you look closely you can see the 2nd rainbow slightly higher than the first, is that more wisdom!

Taken on way to Art class.

They do sing:  "Dancing in the Moonlight"
You can open your eyes and capture the wonders in this world.
It's not often that you get to see the Moon in daylight; so you can dance in the moonlight in the day.

 Taken with Christine Burns as we danced in the daytime moonlight.

The Journey continues.....