Thursday, September 10, 2015

To Dad, TIME, The Circle Of Life

Life is all about Time and how we all use it.
Life is like an everlasting Circle.
Our circle starts from a dot on a piece of paper; it stretches out and gets bigger (it's a bit like growing up in life!)
When your circle reaches the biggest point; it stays in that space and you learn to live your life the best way that you can.
When you've had the maximum amount of time when you were at your peak; it's then time for that circle to decrease.
When the circle decreases; we're actually going through the twilight years of our life. We notice the silver grey hairs (in the once time dark glossy locks hanging down the nape of the neck)
Lines appear around the eyes and lips, but don't despair as it gives you character and shows your life's experience.
You become a person who goes for a gentle stroll instead of that energetic person who ran around the park playing with the dog.
You walk around the edge of a Loch with forest walks instead of climbing up to the highest point of Arran or Skye.
Those days have gone for me now but I enjoy the stroll through a park or looking at the scenery of the hills from the waters edge as I'm eating a cucumber sandwich and a cuppa tea from the thermas flask.
You're just tweeking the time in the park, you stroll instead of run.
You look at the hills in awe instead of "Climb(ing) Every Mountain" by Julie Andrews.

This Circle is coming to an end for my dad ; George Quinn.
For me, this is "unconditional love " for my dad and I love him completely; from the bottom of my heart.

Last weekend ; Christine and Lance were with Alan in Merseyside to visit dad in hospital.
On the 6th of September, early Sunday morning, Christine had a message sent to her accommodation from the nurse at Arrowe Park Hospital at the Wirral University Teaching Hospital.
The message was that dad was saying "Pauline", Christine then called me and asked if I could travel through that day. I arranged myself and got ready to travel through to him. Lance drove from Merseyside to pick me up in Chesterfield, we arrived at the hospital around 5:30ish.

This is where time is So precious to us all.
Every moment I have with him is priceless.
I'm his roomie/roommate.
I have a cot at the side of his bed and as he no longer opens his eyes or speaks; I give him all the information that I can see and what I'm doing as I read all the crossword questions and answers.
I actually have some wonderful conversations and I don't need any reply, I'm filling our time every day.

This has been a very emotional time in my life as it has opened up my eyes to how much love I truly have for my dad, he will always be there in my heart and that shall never dissappear.
Being with him 24hrs a day has made me stronger as a person, I want to be with him as he takes his last walk in life and I'm so lucky to share his time with Alan and Christine.
This emotional time mixes across two situations, just like crossing some signals in my mind.
The bed that dad lays on moves in different positions and the mattress blows up to help the body's blood circulation and that's where I was 4 years ago and I'll never forget that I've just been through what he is going through now.
When I was told of my situation, I fantasised about how I would have looked and I seen it in my mind as a glamorous situation that you would have seen from one of those black and white movies as you put the back of your hand to your forehead and dramatically say...
"Oh, woe is me!"
I now see how I was, and what I actually looked like which saddens my heart but I'm uplifted when I realise that my family were there continuously for the lengthy months as I was silent and unable to walk.

Thanx for being you dad
The Circle Continues...........

ThanX for the picture Christine XXX