Wednesday, July 23, 2014

The Sight of Visual Art on a Platform

Catching up with the Blog March 2014

Site Gallery Platform: Florian Roithmayr

It was a pleasure to watch this visual art on a platform.
I was lucky to be at the right place at the right time.

Things started to fall into place within the mind.
I wanted to show my brain all of the wonders in life as I walk by.
I've gone through all sorts of ups and downs and now it's time to move forward.
When you've been stuck; it's difficult to get out of where you are as you want to run free and get back to normailty as you were before but unfortunately it's harder than you think.
Que cerat!
"Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)", first published in 1956.

I visited the Site Gallery in Sheffield; it's an inspiring art gallery.
I went along with Bella, an Art student.
It was very different when you opened up your eyes and seen what was happening in front of you.

Everything needed for Art

It was amazing to see what was being created right in front of your eyes.
Art on a Platform
Bella and Art

Getting into action for Art.

Communication for Art

I may have said "Any tips on Art!" then "Is he OK up there! Have you gone camera shy?"
This great Art for the day was a magnificent vision for the eyes.
Did this concrete look like steel plates ?
What was created looked like it was steel moulded together on the wall.
Very creative and artistic Art.
Art can come from many different avenues.
We all have our own thoughts and ideas in our brain, we all look at art differently.
We can look at the same picture, but we all look at it in a different way from others.
 I felt that the vision that I seen was like the trauma in my life; steel plates all moulded together around my body and mind, it held me back and stopped me from thinking and doing things that would normally have been there before.

Finished Wall

Time to clear up after the Visual Art in Progress

It was very interesting to watch what was created.

Then we saw the Art in Progress all around us.

Then it was time for a cuppa & cake.

Art could be paintings, sculptures, pottery, sewing, designing, gardening or silversmithing, such a variety of art that you can choose from.

It was very interesting to watch Florian Roithmayr talking on YouTube about Art.

I now open my eyes to all different kinds of Art; there is so much around us if we just open our eyes.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

It was 3 years ago when......

Today is a very special day.
It was three years ago today when my body started to collapse around me.

Before I continue with Pauline's Brain Injury; paulinesblob2,
I shall tell you some of the story of what happened to me with the SAH Subarachnoid Haemorrhage.
It had started the day before I went into Hospital; the day before my body was shutting down on me.
I was brought forward again after the radio chat when I mentioned the cause which was stress.

I was distorted and was staggering into things in the house.
I was violently sick which my son cleaned up for me.
I had the biggest headache in my life.
I coudn't let any light into my eyes later that day.
I pulled the duvet over my head.
I held my head tightly.
I pressed hard against my eyes to take the pressure off of my eyes.
I needed to relieve the pain which no-one knew about.

After that; life was a blurr.......!
I may have been in and out of consciousness; that's a blurr too ?

People think and say that "Stress is nothing really; Just get on with it !"

This stress that I was under was not just from one avenue; it then brought on a bleeding in the brain.
It was a mixture, a combination from a few different avenues, all at the same time in my life.
It probably didn't help me that I was trying to give up smoking at the same time.

I suppose that no matter who was there during this time, they didn't realise the severity of what stress could do to a person and the seriousness of the stress that is passed onto others in this life.
I can now forgive but not forget as there is too many people who get put under this on a daily basis.

I've gone through Depression, Anxiety and locked myself away from the world for a little while.
You need to re-adjust the brain to the new way of thinking like you did before.
You don't need to live and behave as others tell you......
Live for yourself and for no-one else.
I could go on and on here as I have gone through too many side effects.
I still have to put up with other faults daily.
Possibly people don't know how to acknowledge and understand where you have been.
I wonder if people know how to communicate and talk to you again or is there a fear hanging over their shoulders.
Can anyone talk to you as they look into your eyes.
Or,..... do they divert their sight to something else, as they look beyond your head; up, over, sideways but not into your eyes.

I go through Good Days and Bad Days; it just depends on how the brain feels that day.

Easy Peasy....I doubt it..............

DAY 1 
21/07/2011 19:11 





  Not a happy chappy !

What a long journey so far..........
Tomorrow I'll be 3 years into my new life, it's time to close one door and open the next door.
I wonder what shall appear this time.


Sunday, July 13, 2014


By the 20th of March 2014;
I was getting myself ready to advertise the event for Neurocare Charity at Chesterfield College.
Everything went upside down with the blog, the tone levels of the sounds that I heard were so acute, everything echoed in the head as if all the noises were coming through a foghorn
If a pin was dropped a mile away I may have heard it!
I got to a stage that I would just walk, rest, sleep and forget all else.
"Good Idea!" I thought; so that is what I did.

Neurocare & Chesterfield College

This event just appeared out of the blue........ "How did this happen!......"
I was thrilled at what Chesterfield College was preparing for Neurocare Charity.

On the 23rd of March 2014 I looked at the kerffuffle that I lived in, so I hoovered with my fingers and dusted with some wipes then I came across a bag family pictures !

"How did this happen???"
"Where's my family; and how did I lose them?"
The brain must have been turned upside down and inside out as I found it difficult to understand what was happening inside this brain of mine.........
The brain must have been on a siesta, a very, very long siesta.
A siesta is a short nap taken in the early afternoon.
Possibly I may have slept for too long and now it's time to gather all that happened when this brain of mine was sleeping.

Over the next 3 days there was so many crying sessions mixed with laughter as we were all getting back together; my family had all waited patiently through the long lengths of time until I seen the light at the end of the tunnel and came back all by myself.

How pernickity a brain can become as it's trying to repair.
The brain looks for the answers to all it's questions that it has; your actually re-living everything all over again, your going through all the years from your first memory until now as you become more alert to all that has happened around you.

Determination pushes you forward to bring the brain back into the reality of your life.

The smallest step is the biggest step forward for me; I wonder what's next !

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Confusion sets in from 12th March

March 12th onwards...

I was due to have a phone consultation later in the afternoon which was a confusing talk???
 "Confushious Say!"
Is this like that caged bird that wants to sing!

Later in the afternoon we had a 10 minute session on the phone and he said that the medication tablets would go from 200mg to 100mg and I only had one 200mg tablet left...."would that be a bad thing for me" I thought as this medication is changing! he would call me back on Friday to see how I was feeling as I was starting to stay in my cocoon; my home.......
After yesterday it was the relief of attending the Specialist Stroke Services to allow the brain to escape from where it is just now:-
noun: relief
  1. 1.
    a feeling of reassurance and relaxation following release from anxiety or distress.
    "much to her relief, she saw the door open"
    synonyms:reassurance, consolation, comfort, solace, calmness, relaxation, repose, ease More
    "it was such a relief to share my secret worries with her"
  2. 2.
    financial or practical assistance given to those in special need or difficulty.
    "raising money for famine relief"
    synonyms:help, aid, assistance, succour, care, sustenance; More
Todays talk was about the safety:-
First Aid at work and at the social event with all who attend the Specialist Stroke Services

It's good to know what is there......"Just incase"! as I thought.

Tom & Jean Crosbie from The Specialist Stroke Services in Chesterfield, Derbyshire.

I seem to be told what others may think is right for me and not what I think is right for myself,
Chris Spencer and myself take the challenge to save our patient.
The next 3 pictures and comments come from The Specialist Stroke Services.

Do you think we should warn Nikki that if she needs the kiss of life at the end of her 10K run - we will be sending her our Pauline to administer it!!

Chris mastering the technique of CPR at our defibrillator training session with Jean Slater.

We are delighted to announce that we have now purchased our own defibrillator. Thank you to everyone who has helped us to raise the funds for this over the last few months.

We are delighted to announce that we have now purchased our own defibrillator.  Thank you to everyone who has helped us to raise the funds for this over the last few months

A great achievement to purchase this for the Specialist Stroke Services unit in Chesterfield.

Then I was taken aback with the new profile picture of Bob Rafferty; very creative and also
a great mixture of visual art.

Bob has given me the challenge to re-create his visual sight of his art.

I started painting the picture of Bob Rafferty; what a challenge!
It's just great to push yourself forward; whether it's good or not so good, it does make you move forward .

14th March 2014
Then it was the sadness of Mr Tony Benn.
A great footstep to follow..........
ThanX to:-
ITV with Paul, Simon & Colm.
BBC with Danny.
I watched the reporting on the other side of the camera for the news on TV.
I learn something new every day.

I think that I may have tried to video what they did so easily with their camera.
At least the picture moves a little bit!
That's a start.....

Catherine joined me to write words in the condolence book in The Labour Party
Office in Chesterfield.

 A busy day for all involved.

The next day:
This is my description of the feelings that run around the legs and feet and the head area.
I started to have some numbness on my toes and my right knee downwards was very cold.
Right insole had some "square feelings!"
Blocks - bumping into each other.
Is the blocks the crystals?
Tightness on right ankle and right cheek numb.
It seems to me that all on the right side has fallen out with the rest of the body...............
I should right a letter to my brain to behave and co-operate with the rest of the body...... Jeeezzo!
I spent most of the weekend organising the blood circulation within the legs to move.
It can be very tiring doing the slightest movement and need to sleep as that is when your body repairs itself more; I've learnt that when I feel tired, I need to sleep.
No more fighting with the mind to stay awake as it's trying to replenish itself. To get better.

A nice wee cuppa & scone at Holmebrook Valley Park Cafe

How can the brain adjust and cope:
The brain is still going through the re-adjusting time to learn all over again about all the movements and sounds happening all at the same time.

noun: cacophony; plural noun: cacophonies
a harsh discordant mixture of sounds.
"a cacophony of deafening alarm bells"
synonyms:din, racket, noise, discord, dissonance, discordance, caterwauling, raucousness, screeching, jarring, stridency, grating, rasping
    Listening to more than one conversation at any point in the shop, on the bus, having a coffee; it distorts and spins around in my head like the words are coming through a "Foghorn" it's LouD and Echoes inside the mending head.
    It is a cacophony that you have to bear with every day.
    If someone dropped a little pin a mile away; I may hear it. "That was loud!"
    A regular noise that you never really noticed before the brain trauma is so much harder to cope with on a daily basis these days.
    Lets see what occurs next for me alongside all the other after effects that I have and still put up with.
    Determination has brought me this far and there's no turning back now.

    The Brain that Changes Itself

    ThanX  to Catherine Clinton for the gift of this book, as you read each page I think;  
    "This is so full of ME!"