Monday, May 6, 2013

Im Back.......

As I sit here; looking at my blob/blog, I seriously think !
I have been reading now; a great achievement for me. I surprise myself these days!
My brain was; or may have been; full of mince before now, a natural effect of a Brain Injury, it has been a challenge for me, a toil.
I have tried to read this book since last summer time;
Rediscovering Life After a Stroke.
Every time that I tried to read, I fall asleep, a very quickness of tiredness that arrives around me!
I'm zonked! Out of the Show! Kerrplunked! Done In!
Every time that I read the first few pages of this book, it is ME!
It is so close to my life, but my brain shut's me down and lets me rest as I know what is going to happen to me in this story.
Robert McCrum talks in his book about "an insult to the brain", this Stroke has "A Blow", a "Calamity".
Our New Life, we all have survived, was a "Close Call" and  our "Brush With Death"
Even Robert quotes a "Monty Python Sketch"; "pushing up the daisies"

"This parrot is no more!
It has ceased to be!
It's expired and gone to meet it's maker!
It's a stiff!
Bereft of life it rests in peace - if you hadn't nailed it to be on the perch it would be pushing up the daisies!
It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible!
This is the Ex-Parrot!
As I carry on with his book I realised that I'm still looking at me on these pages!
It's definately me!
As Robert writes;
"Of those who survive the initial "insult", about half will be left with permanent severe disability.
The physical consequence of stroke is a horrifying catalogue of damage that includes personality
changes, impaired sensation, paralysis, incontinence, visual or language problems, deafness,
blindness, seizures, and even swallowing difficulties, the distressing manifestations of what the
textbooks describe as *neurological deficits*. Appoximately one third of those who sufffer a
stroke will die, often from a second or third subsequent assault on the neurological system."

I have had everything in Robert McCrums list, I'm so glad that I'm not the only one to suffer these;
I learded to walk and talk,
I was a cold person constantly, last year in Salou it was 31* degrees, I slep with; 1xsheet, 2xtop covers, 2xwoolen blankets, and lots of layers of nightwear, that was my blood circulation,
Could I feel the difference between hot and cold.......Nope!
Incontinence.......a perfect pee'er,
Visual...........I had the Cloud System, I lived in my red world, I saw everything in Red, but in different shades of the colour, I never seen any edges to anything, nothing in 3D.......Bummer!
Language and repeating words, another perfect grade by me............I hope I had an "A" for that!
Deafness, well my right ear is very stubborn and not playing with me!
Seizures, I was a brilliant drama queen doing that!
Imagine me pinching the wrong food behind the nurses.............SORRY NURSES at Osborn 4 ;-)
Remembering the names of my friends and colleagues, SHOCKING!
Trying to remember where I was, why was I there, why, what, where, who! Confusing!
There are not many  mysteries left for me to work out now.
As Robert McCrum writes;
The paramedics question, was a fundamental one;
Yes indeed.
Glad to be back !
P.S. ThankYou Ellen Beardmore for helping me along my way. ;-) XXX

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