Sunday, November 3, 2013


I started this blob/blog on the 4th of July 2012. INDEPENDENCE DAY!

One word that I continually keep saying is "WHY!"
Why has this happened to me!
Why has this happened to her!
Why has this happened to him!
Why has this happened to them!
Why has this happened to US!

This is supposed to help me get over where I have been.
It was supposed to help me with writing, spelling, writing a sentance, when I look back in my diary book for 2012 I even say "Poor Pauline!" to myself.
My poor Diary is all mixed up with the words and spelling; I had to fight to get the brain back together.
When I moved into the Rehabilitation Home on the 23rd of April 2012, I thought "WooHoo!" Life again!.
Things went downhill !
I even neglected or did not include some things that was happening in my life when I was in my Rehabilitation House in Bolsover.
This Markham House was in "Kahoots" with my family members' I'm fed up writing their names here.
I thought; "What is the vocabulary meaning of Care and Support?"
cares, caring, cared
1. to be troubled or concerned: he is dying, and she doesn't care
2. to have regard or consideration (for): he cares more for his hobby than his job
3. to have a desire or taste (for): would you care for tea?
4. to provide physical needs, help, or comfort (for)
5. to agree or like (to do something): would you care to sit down?
6. for all I care or I couldn't care less: I am completely indifferent
7. careful or serious attention: he does his work with care
8. protective or supervisory control: in the care of a doctor
9. trouble; worry
10. an object of or cause for concern
11. caution: handle with care
12. care of: at the address of: written on envelopes
13. in (or into) care: made a legal responsibility of a local authority by order of a court > Carer    

When you look back at my beginings here; the main issue that I put down here was MY REVIEW!
I photocopied my letter which I, the orator, the speaker, handed it to all the family at my review.
I started to give them instructions on when I will see THEM! Not the other way round!
There was a BROOHAHA!
I was DISMISSED from MY REVIEW which you can see from the previous date Friday 20th July 2012.
For that day on the blog it was just my letter; nothing else!
Obviously people didn't like it that I had a brain of my own to write my own letter and photocopy it?
Then on Friday 27th July 2012, Markham House thought I was best being at the home and my sister Janiece, brother-in-law David and his father Dez could only come over to see me for a coffee for an hour!!!
By this time in my Diary I put "I'M RAGING!"
Then I had a BEDROOM STRIKE on Saturday 28th July 2012.
I was then told to stay indoors, I "spent too much time with Janiece"?
Does that mean that it's bad to be with people that stimulate the brain and help you become more alert.
Sarcasm now;
"Oh Joy; they kept me indoors to stop me from learning! YeeHaa!"
I  had activities cancelled, I've got a big list of what you Can and what you Cannot Doo!
The first two issues of My Review and The Bedroom Strike let's you see what I was going through!
Check it out on the dates of the 20th & 28th July 2012.
Possibly people would be going on about my behaviour......BooHoo!
People do give false remarks about how I am! (possibly mentally!)
A lot of people just don't talk to me anymore, I just shake my shoulders and get on with my life.
I just let everyone go with their own flow now.
I'm fed up with trying to let people know that "I'm still here! It's me!"
It's a waste of my own time about this anymore.
My family is Me!
Only me and no-one else!
I do help some people on the way who have problems like I had.

I still become sad and I can't shake it off from inside of me.
This has been pulling me down again.
How can I turn this Brain Injury around and not let anything get on top of this and which nerve is still open.
There is even a nerve on my left eyebrow that if I touch it lightly I have the biggest pain in the top of my skull.
Possibly some of the nerves are still finding a place to go and quietly lay down and work out it's path.

Pictures from the internet

The atmosphere started to rumble above.
I looked at all the high skies for any answers.
My mind started to fall into a turmoil with colours.
What to do, what to do, what to do!

The clouds were Grumbling to me; I tried to listen.
There was a sudden Wooooossshh!
The colours twisted and turned as my mind was trying to organise all of the Grumbling and Woooooshing that was bouncing off any obstacle in the brain.
I was getting so tired with it all, Dun-In!
                               Why does the brain know what is wrong and right !
My brain has kicked in with all the dramas that has happened to me while I was in No-Mans Land.
Whilst I was in hospital, my FaceBook was broken into "by family".
There's been a FaceBook War "by family".
I have recieved some "un-savoury" topic letters" by family".
I have been dis-owned "by family".
I'll still cry every now and then, it's natural.
Thats what tears are for.
I'm not the only person who has gone through this.
I've met a few people who have gone through the exact same drama from their families too.
We may choose our friends but not our family, how many people say this on a day-to-day moan and groan.
I'm One!
Are You?


The next day the sun came out and I went to the surgery. I went in to see Dr Ali.
I moaned and groaned AGAIN! That's my usual thing. Moan, Groan, Moan, Groan, Moan Groan! 

I told him another story involving Mr Patel. I had told Mr Patel about my Doctor....You!
"Hmmmm!" came from Dr Ali as he smiled. Then I described you to Mr Patel and I mentioned that there was something different about you, something special but it could be the hair! Mr Patel asked if it was grey? "No, No!" I said. "It's long like yours and black; Ooh! By the way; he is younger!"Then we laughed I said.
I then complained about the medication and now Dr Ali has just left Tegretol on my medication for epilepsy after my Haemorrhage. I'll keep my eye on anything and everything and write it down like I've been doing this from March 15th 2012.
Hello Mr Patel.......and Hello Dr Ali .................                           

I went round to The Labour Office for my meeting.
These "Lovely Lads" made me a Wee Cuppa!
They made me laugh and smile with their banter outside, they were waiting for a big waggon which was arriving.

Mr Toby Perkins MP & ME

Catch up later!
See ya soon!
Aux revoir!

No comments:

Post a Comment