Sunday, February 3, 2013

Wednesday 17th October

I woke up at 08.25am.
I looked at my diary for my appointment time.
When I seen the time, I panicked.
I went downstairs for a coffee to waken myself up.
I asked the staff what way was I going to the Doctors appointment?
They told me that the car was out just now. I knew that they would have someone to walk with me.
They told me to go for a bus at 09:30am, and my appointment was at 09:35am so I went to my room and checked my diary again.
I got riled again!
I went downstairs again?
Why should I go for the bus at 09:30am when my appointment was at 09:35am.
I felt that it was not the right thing to do, I was not going to wait for a bus to turn up at 09:30 and be in my doctors in 5 minutes? It just didn’t feel right, simple enough!
Why did no one waken me up for my drugs?
I was then told that my door was  knocked on five times, but I never answered!
My brain was getting angry with myself, yes myself!
I asked myself, why did no one open my door and  see how I was doing?
I got riled again!
I know that I have had two seizures already, but not here.
They have my profile!
Surely someone would have known what has happened to me previously!
I thought why did no one look to see if I was ok!
My head was running away with the thought of me being sick and no one looking to see if I was ok.
I got riled again!
I felt my blood bubbling in my veins.
I was told the wrong appointment time. 09:45??
I went back downstairs to speak about my time.
YES. I was right and they were wrong. RESULT.
I got myself ready as quickly as possible.
No shower, no hair doo, no make-up, just a quick hand wash.
I was sweating when I was ready to leave. I felt dirty.
I said “phone up and cancel me, make me another appointment!”
Then I said “Ah never mind, I’ll just go.”
My mind was going backwards and forwards, a mess!
I felt terrible with myself, I could have kicked my own ass.
I was only in my bed sleeping.
I never knew that the staff here were not allowed to come into the bedroom just in case I was in the shower. Just in case I get caught in the nudie!
Hey, I’m used to that, they were in the bedroom on my first week here for safety when I was having a shower.
Nothing bothers me about that!
I started on the walk to the Doctor Rachel Klein*******spell?


I arrived at the Doctor’s and checked myself in. Pauline Quinn.
The receptionist was looking at her computer and started looking puzzled.
I asked her if she was OK.
She was working out where my numbers had gone too????????
She kept pressing her computer again and asked me if my number was ok.
I couldn’t understand what was going on now!!!
I didn’t realise that she never knew what my numbers meant in her system.
She was trying to pull up my files by my numbers!!!!
I gave her my birthday, 1st April !!!
We both got our wires crossed. I can now laugh. :)


I sat down next to wee Eden.
She was the prettiest little lady with the biggest smile and the biggest brightest eye’s.
I hope to see you another day little lady.


I got into the clinic of Rachael’s and we had our lovely “HELLO” again.
Can you all remember why I was here the last time? Shhhh.
A ladies thing!
Rachael is so impressed with all my fitness, to get myself back home.
I told her about all the fitness that I do at home, she is impressed with me.
I do know that I try with my fitness every day, to improve my strength……BUT!
As we left to walk home I was quiet.
I have been quite and my voice is in a silent day.
I hate the dramas every other day just now.
My life used to be so happy.
I just can’t be bothered anymore.

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