On 19th July 2011, I suffered a subarachnoid haemorrhage after a rupture of a cerebral aneurysm. I spent 8 weeks in Royal Hallamshire hospital in ITU and HDU. I was transferred to the Northern General Hospital, Osborn 4 Neuro-rehabilitation ward for a further 7 months. I was unable to talk, walk and had weakness on my right side after a stroke. In February 2012, after a procedure called a Shunt, I began to walk & talk. These are my daily activities, memories and thoughts.....enjoy :)
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Saturday 6th October
Des’s 70th Birthday Party.
Going to Letchworth for party and staying over. WOOHOO :)
That was in my diary for today.
I went down for my “Pauline’s Gym” the bicycle for me to get my energy back.
When I finished with the bicycle I then went through to have a late breakfast with Just Andy. I was making my coffee and toast. It was about 10:30am, we were pretty late for eating. I love eating just when I’m hungry not just because of the time.
Just Dandy made his breakfast and we had a good wee natter, the two of us.
As the conversation was carrying on, Alfonso came down to join our conversation.
He was intrigued with our chattering. As I carried on with my story, I couldn’t stop staring at him. “OH MY GOD” that’s what I said. No wonder no one could understand why I was quite excited. I told Alfonsothat he kept the two eyes open for the story. Usually the right eye is usually lazy and it is closed. I never even said anything to him, he had more strength for his two eyes to stay open.
I was gobsmacked. Everyone seems to take a big step every day. Woohoo.
We were talking about Thailand.
We were talking about Cho Chang island and the lepers, he said that when he walked through the colony, he told everyone that no one had a virus to pass onto him.
He said “I wont catch anything” with distain. He was rather annoyed that people didn’t want him to be around the lepers. When he told me this story of his past I said, “Well done to youJ:)
Kerry, Debbie and Leon popped around for a wee HELLO to us all.
They still look as good as ever.
LETCHWORTH HELLO :)
I painted my toe nails and my finger nails. What next to do? When they were dry, the toes and fingers, the next job was the shower. La, la, la, la.
I was in such a great mood.
I was singing terribly but I felt as if I was on top of the world.
I looked out the window and seen Paul the Gardener. I went down for our usual chat, as we carried on chatting he noticed my watch band. He then started to fix my pink watch band, I do need to sort out the length of the watch band. He needs to bring along some more needles to fix the watch length.
Paul said that if David couldn’t fix it he would fix it the next time.
Janiece and David turned up for me in the afternoon, it was about 3pm.
I was pretty in red.
My dress was long, right down to my feet. I got all my bits and bobs together and OFF. We all jumped into the car and vroooomed away. I like that vroooomed :)
I sat in the front of the car beside David and I talked one minute then I dreamed for another couple of minutes. One minute, here then there, then here then there.
My brain was jumping back, forward, back, forward.
I was looking forward to seeing all the extended family. One minute I was happy, excited then I was scared, I was frightened of the family seeing me know when they knew what I was going through. I didn’t even realise that I seen them all in Jerry’s back garden. That’s how screwed up my head was before. Janiece told methe date when I was in Jerry’s garden. I suddenly remembered all the family. Phewwww.
When we drove up to the back of Des’s house I told David, “Over to the right”
Then David pulled up to the kerb and when he parked I pointed to the black window panes, that was the right one out of five houses. I held my right palm into a crunch and pulled it right down to my thigh and said “YES” I was so confident at my yes’s.
We walked into Des’s house and there was lots of kisses and cuddles and smiles. :)
As the chattering was on a roll the back door opened up again. Who appeared? YES.
It was Jerry and Wendy.
My eyes popped open and I said “Hi John”. I shocked myself.
When did I see John before! I shocked myself the casual way that I said Hi John as if it was just a few days ago. A regular casual meeting. We all had our kisses and cuddles again, I really quite like this now. :):):) I love this.
Jerry, Wendy and John all go into the hotel and refresh themselves for our dinner.
They drive away and we get our taxi. I’m prepared. I’m excited. I’m giggly.
When we get into town the taxi pulled over for us to get out. I take it we were there?
I only knew that I ordered my dinner ages ago, starter, main, dessert, and that we were going to be at a family gathering in the town.
When we got out of the taxi, Des and David started to walk ahead. Janiece started walking and I could not move again. Janiece came back to me and asked me if I was OK! I had a strange feeling inside my body. I didn’t know how to describe the feelings that I had. I just said to Janiece “I’ve been here before!” My head and my eyes were darting all over the place. I said to her again “I’ve been here before!”
Janiece said to me that I stayed in Dunstable not Letchworth, she said “Why would I have been here” I pointed my right finger at the bench on our left side. I said to Janiece again “I sat there!”
I started to move along as the men were further ahead of us.
My head was all over the place again! We walked forward and were passing the CARVERY AND HOTEL then I seen the name of the place at the front door.
It was “BROADWAY” I whispered to Janiece I recognise the name?
Des and David moved onwards and we got closer to them then I said “The station?”
I really was so quiet with my speech.
I told Janiece that I recognised everything!! somehow?
Janiece whispered to me “This was Joyces funeral :(”
I was shocked………..I was frightened to say anything.
I told Janiece that I would say nothing. I had to be so strong and say nothing.
I knew that this was Des’s party and I wouldn’t do anything to spoil his special day.
We turned around and moved into the Broadway?
The first people I saw was Dean, Sarah and Ash. It was so lovely to see them.
My heart was banging all over the place. Happiness was in the air here.
I was then introduced to Basia, she was the manageress here at the Broadway.
Then I met Terry and Marie, Lolita, Pauline and Clive, Alisha, Barb and Tony Wallace. All the family were popping from everywhere to say HELLO.
They were all arriving pretty much at the same time.
One, two, three, four, how many more!!! More, more, more, how many more again.
All of a sudden Adrian Akindele walked straight past me.
I said “Hi Adrian” I had the biggest smile for him. Adrian walked on up to the bar and I moved up to where he was. I told him that I got the right name Adrian.
I do know that there were so many faces and talking.
I was chuffed with myself that I got the right name to the right twin.
Janiece said to me that she has known the twins all their lives.
Now, due to a birthmark when they were kids that’s the only way that Janiece knew who was who. Janiece was flustered again that I always get the names right between the twins.
HEY, I’M A GENIUS :)
I know who is who with their cheeky wee smiles. I love their smiles. :)
Then Aaron, Jake, June and Sam entered the room.
OMG JAKE AKINDELE is taller than me by a couple of centimetres. When he cuddled me I looked at our height to each other and I could have kicked myself.
I’m 49yrs old and Luke is 11yrs old?? How can that happen to me. If you are 18 or 19 years old that I can accept but 11 yrs old Ahhhhhhhh
Everyone was doing their blethering from one to another.
We were mixing around in the party room. I totally enjoyed listening this time.
It was great to hear all the updates and gossip that cousins, aunts, uncles, nephews, nieces and Des had to offer. My brain was like a computer, looking for information.
Poor Barb, was it a “White cancer!”
Well my companion for dinner tonight was my big boy Jake Akindele. I do actually mean BIG BOY. I’m still gutted at the height against me. I think I should not allow anyone to get bigger than me :-[ That’s my funny sad face, I’m really laughing :)
Humour has been one of the greatest gifts to me just now.
I was looking atLuke’s i-pod.
I asked Sam and June so many questions about the i-pod, sometimes I do feel like a computer for information, I need data, I will gobble it all up straight away.
I took pics of our starters :-
Then we waited till the chef got our carvery area ready for all us hungry horses!!
All the way through my dinner I kept looking at the two girls and one boy.
They were sitting next to Des throughout the dinner. I was terrified to say anything.
I promised Janiece that I would be quiet, and wouldn’t say anything in front of Des.
This was his special day.
I hoped that I would be quiet!! I prayed.
We all got our teas and coffees and got ourselves ready for the chatty marathon now.
Some people went through to the bar area.
Some people just needed to move their legs.
Some people just needed to move the three courses. Phewwww. What a belly.
I moved from sitting next to Jake to the other table and sat beside Dean.
The conversation kept me busy trying to organise everything in my mind.
That truly was a challenge for me.
Des appeared and asked me if the two girls could join me at the table.
I said “YES”
I arranged the chairs for them so we all had a seat.
People were laughing, giggling, hiccups?
I sat there with my chin into the palms of both of my hands. I looked puzzled.
I eventually spoke to the girls. I spoke with a biggest smile :) and said:-
“Hi girls, I kept looking at you two throughout the dinner. I actually thought I knew you two but I don’t know your names or how I know you two?”
I told them that I recognised their hair by the design but I didn’t know their names or where I met them. I was quite confused that I did not know :-<
They said it was Millicent and Christine (sisters)
I still sat there quite confused, puzzled on my face.
Millicent then said to me that
We met three years ago at Joyclin’s funeral. Here!
I was totally lost in my own thoughts, feelings, emotions, I felt absolutely f…ed.
There dad had a stroke plus a prostrate cancer.
The girls left me details of their father, they shared their sadness with me.
Millicent and Christine would like me to share this with you all too.
I felt exactly where they have been.
I have been there four times, so close to nothing.
GOD BLESS YOU BOTH, LOVE PAULINE QUINN XXX
When this happened at the table I put my hand on Dean’s arm.
I felt all the sadness that was there for me when they visited me just before the Christmas period time.
I do know that people come along to see me with the biggest smile but on the inside of your body you fall apart, you break.
Dean did say to me that it was so sad seeing me like that. Would he ever see me alive?
I do realise what went through his own mind.
Dean, Sarah and Ash went through so much for me.
I said to Dean that the one thing that made me so sad was the fact that I could not even say “HELLO” to them. That did make me so sad. :(
We got rid of all our memories. This is my 2ndlife now, a new start, I love it :)
Janiece was with the girls in the bar area, they were all laughing and smiling and talking at the dozen. I looked over at all the girls giggling away with no worries.
That made me giggle too. Just watching people having the merriment.
That was the best evening I have had in my 2ndlife.
I TRULY THANK YOU ALL, GOD BLESS YOU ALL XXX J:)
I heard my name being called from someone in the ladies in the bar.
I turned around to them and I shouted “WHAT”
I had to raise my voice louder to be heard over the chatting and laughing and giggling.
When I looked over what did I see!!!!!
Janiece lifted her dress and showed me her knickers and shook her bum :)
I laughed so much I done the same thing to her. :)
Two knicker show’ers for the whole crowd.
The crowd laughed so much, just like ourselves.
They should have had big bean bags to let us fall over ourselves on the floor. :)
Most of the family were nipping off to bed now. Des had the biggest grin on his face.
Des was sooo happy, I’m so happy for him.
My heart is so happy.
I have had the most special day with Des today. I feel complete with Des.
“Des I do love you “ XXX
Everyone is leaving to go home, the four of us have the biggest smile between us.
That was the great day.
When we got into the taxi I felt that we all lost our voices. We enjoyed our memories.
We loved it.
What a superb day
When we got into the house, I went straight to my bed.
How long did it take me to change into my P,J,.’sTHREE MINUTES!.
I had already said goodnight to DES, JANIECE and DAVID.
I jumped into my bed.
How long did it take me to fall asleep ?
I can’t even remember my head going onto the pillow.