Tuesday 25th September

I woke up very excited about my knew journey to see my grandson.

I’m his granny, grandma, grandmother, gran, nanna, how many titles should I have.

I shall let Boyd decide when he is old enough to name me for him.

Would it be “Queenie Pauline!”, “Gaga” or “Pretty Grannie”.

I can amuse myself with all the names in the future. “LADY P”

I should be realistic, this is life now. “I’m a grannie, WOW”

I was getting myself ready for this beautiful grandson BOYD.

I was getting so excited, my mind was travelling down the right path with Boyd.

Robert said to me last night that he had an interview for this morning at 9am.

I was dressed really early today for my visit to see Boyd.

My druggy arrived at 08:20 with my medical drugs.

I actually like saying “druggy” it gives me a giggle at how to play with words.

I had great memories from my holiday, they were dancing about in my head.

Neil and Billy had arrived again at our home to do more “FIXY STUFF”.

The manageress, Lady Tallulah, collected me for my big step right in front of me.

We collected my son Robert and his stepson

We were all in the car for the biggest step for me.

My son kept talking and I listened to every word he said. I turned round in my chair to see his face. That was the greatest gift already.

When we all arrived at the hospital, Lady Talullah was surprised with my wooden leg.

I told her that I just hang it over my arm as another piece of “BLING” to my arm.

We all got up to the buzzing door.

This is the door that would take us through to Boyd.

Robert informed us that we can only go in a few people at the time.

Lady Tallulah said that she would go for a cuppa tea at the cafeteria, and let us all bond together. I was still getting excited at seeing my grandson Boyd.

I thought, “Great I can hold him, smell him, I can  forget about everything else in life”

“THIS IS LIFE”

The three of us walked through the doorway.

I took three, 3 steps and I froze on the spot. I actually froze to the spot. I cried.

I stood there at the start of the corridor and I cried, I cried, I cried, I cried, I cried.

The nurse ran up to me with a tissue to dry my eyes.

I told the nurse that I was so happy:-

FOLKS,

I’M SO SAD,

I CRY,

I’M HAPPY,

I RELIVE MY BIGGEST MEMORY

My Subarachnoid Brain Haemorrhage and my voice, my legs, my hunger to eat.

I have lost so much in 1 year of my life.

Where did I go to on my,  “SADDEST DAY IN MY LIFE.”

As the three of us walked further up the corridor, we were going to Julie’s door.

Robert held onto the door handle and chapped at the door.

Robert said, “Hello, we’re here to see you” then Robert walked into Julie’s room.

I was FROZEN AGAIN.

I started to CRY all over again. I CIED, I CRIED, I CRIED.

I could not move.

I WAS STUCK.

My brain had run away from me. My brain was hiding from the tube in BOYD.

I could not control all MY FEELINGS, MY EMOTIONS, MY THOUGHTS.

MY LIFE WAS STUCK HERE, RIGHT ON MY SPOT.

I seen everyone looking at me, I felt so week in front of them.

I truly was scared again.

One minute I thought I was full of courage, then it collapsed, right in front of me.

The nurse had already given me a box of tissues as one was not enough for my crying.

Thank goodness I had a back up for my eyes.

I eventually calmed down my crying, sometimes crying can be good for us all.

It has helped me re-live with what I have lived through before so far.

JULIE CHALMERS – HEROINESS

Once I finished all my sobbing, Julie kept the chit chatting on a normal/whatever stuff topic for the normal conversation. I think she knew that I was scared, so she asked Robert if he would like to change Boyd’s nappy

Ooooooocht,  NO, I’M A MAN, CHANGE NAPPIES, Brrrrrrr.

I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.

I had the biggest smile from one ear to the other.

I was “SMILING GRANNIE PAULINE :)”

I asked Julie if I could change his bum. I’m not actually giving him a NEW BUM, I asked to change his nappy, not his actual BUM? Laugh, laugh, laugh again.

As I was changing Boyd’s nappy Robert got the water, the cotton balls, the clean nappy. Julie got the cream for his bum. Boyd’s bum not Robert’s bum, Ha, ha, ha.

All of a sudden PSHHHHHHH

YES, BOYD CHRISTENED ME, OUR 1^st MEETING TO OUR LIFE.

The pee went firing up through my hair and over my camera.

What a perfect shot he had already in his life.

I laughed and laughed and laughed AGAIN. LIFE WAS PERFECT.

It was time to leave, our visit shall happen again soon.

We all got our people together, who was staying, who was going, who was smiling, ME.

When I got home, I watched a programme on the T.V. called “VIKINGS”.

Neil Oliver was a Scottish Presenter for Vikings, he was going on about the fortresses for living in days of old.

He explained about King Kunate, there was the Romany – Christian City.

There was lots of information for me for my P.C. titanium head.

Between 9pm and 11:45 pm I see the movie called “LOVE ACTUALLY”.

Hugh Grant & Colin Firth put this in to the movies in 2003. It was a romantic comedy drama, festive stories of love and lost as 8 inter-related couples search for happiness.

AH LOVELY, GOODNIGHT XXX